Sunday, April 29, 2007

Trepidations about the Future

Alright, I know that I have not posted in a while and the single person who knows that this blog exists has probably lost interest a long time ago. However, I am not one to be easily discouraged, and am posting again anyway.

I got into a very nice University. It is not Yale, I got rejected, but I probably would have chosen this college over Yale anyway. (It is a much better fit for my personality) I do not particularly want to tell the entire internet what university this happens to be, because that information compounded with some of the other info that I let slip in this blog might make my true identity too searchable for comfort. (Not that you might not be able to guess what it is) No, you reader(s) only get to know my true identity when I come streaming out of the telephone booth to save the world. Anyway, I will say that it is a very selective technical college. I will call it TIEC for Technical Institute of the East Coast. I thought this acronym would have a bit more decorum than ECT, not that I have ever been especially concerned with decorum.

Anyway, TIEC recently invited all of its admitted students to a class-wide campus visit, with lots of events planned and lots of free food. I went. And it was great. I could be as open as I felt about my academics, and people just accepted it as a matter of course. There was no double take, no long blink, no awkward silence whenever I revealed something particularly geeky. I was just a slight variation on everyone else there. Emphasis on the word slight. I am used to being strange beyond measure. I would not be surprised if I actually had some sort of mental illness, but I have never been to a psychologist. I am kind of used to the looks people give me when they realize that I am smart, used to having people refuse to argue with me or compete with me in any kind of game. But there… I was normal, at least in my degree of intelligence.

I am not going to lie, there were some less exciting aspects of realizing that I was normal. For one thing, I will probably not be at the top of my class. I am not sure; I am only judging from a single weekend. (I know how arrogant this is, but it is still hard to believe that it is possible that I will not be at the top.) I give myself a 10% chance of being in the top ten percent. This is much less likely than the chances that I am used to, even with my probable overestimation (never forget my own arrogance).

Then again, I am fairly sure that I will be better at a lot of things physically. One of the events there was sword fighting like they do in video games, but in real life. (I told you these place is amazing) Anyway, I won. By a lot. We were not really keeping score, and I can still tell you that I won. There was another booth for a martial arts club, and they had some people ready to teach some kicks as a demonstration in order to convince people to join. (Note how they taught it instead of showed it. Again, this place is AMAZING!) Anyway, they did the eyebrow thing that people do when they are impressed and asked me to sign up. (they would have asked anyway, that was the point of the demonstration- to convince people to sign up) I did. I was planning on learning some martial arts in college anyway. Later, I went to a salsa party at one of the frat houses, where they taught salsa to all the people there. Again, I did well. (Oh and that frat party was amazing. There was actually some mention of physics. Where else is there a discussion of physics at a frat party? Again I say, this place is AmAzInG!) Anyway, it is comforting that, even if I will not be the top of my class academically, I will be near the top physically.

One thing that really scares me though, is that everyone there is really, really smart, or else they would not be able to get in, and this particular university is not known for its strict adherence to rules and regulations. This is exciting in more than one way. First let me clarify that TIEC does make an effort to track down violations that harm people or property, just not the silly little pranks and jokes, so it is not as if there is a lot of serious stuff going on here. It is however, endlessly amusing because those pranks can be really funny. For this reason, I want to join this community of hackers. No worries, I will only be doing fun stuff, jokes. Nothing harmful. Anyway, it also means that my level of security is going to go up, a lot further than it is now, just because people do not worship rules there. (Of course, that my security is going up is not saying much. Right now, I only lock my car if I am in a city, and only sometimes then.)

Yet another things that impressed me from that weekend was the incredible amount of diversity. Alright, I know that I am coming from the Midwest, a place not exactly known for its diversity, but I was incredibly impressed with the amount of cultures at TIEC. I thought that I was reaching out because I have friends who are not in the same denomination as me, a couple who aren’t even Christian. *gasp* But at TIEC, the fact that I was a Christian was actually something to be noted as strange. People were going by the Campus Christians as if they had a strange religion. There were Atheists, Jews, Muslums, Hindus… Don’t get me wrong, I have known people who are not Christian, I am not completely isolated, but I have never felt like I was in the minority before. I am not even sure that I was, it might have just felt like it because it was a lot less than the 90% majority that I am used to. Maybe it was just because I am used to people knowing that I am a Christian… ( I have a reputation at school)

That brings up another thing. At this completely new place, I will be able to shape a reputation relatively unaffected by my reputation at home. If I want to be the athletic hacker, I can, and very few people will be comparing that with the image I have here of a near perfect angel. Except that I am not sure that I want that image. I might have left my church, but I left on moral grounds, not the lack thereof, so I am certainly not going to go out reckless. What kind of a person do I want to project myself as? I am going to have to make that decision before I get on campus, because first impressions are hard to change. Well, that is the question for a different blog. I have homework to get done.

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